Thursday of this week is Diwali (also spelled Divali, and sometimes called Deepavali/Deepawali). Diwali is an important cultural (and religious) holiday, and it’s celebrated by over a billion people on Earth. If you’re teacher, this probably means many of your students and staff members are celebrating, too. Which means it’s probably also worth considering teaching about Diwali. So if you’re teaching about Diwali (and I hope you are), I hope this post is helpful for you!
Happy Friday! Here’s a quick link roundup of 5 things for your weekend, including links related to Konmari Regret, the new Enderverse book from Orson Scott Card, the Shit Academics Say twitter account, an intense story on Toni Morrison, and the best music of 2017…
I’ve been waiting for what feels like forever for sweater weather. (As much as I complain when it’s freezing outside, I really can’t stand summer heat. Good thing the Earth isn’t getting hotter… Oh wait.)
Luckily, sweater weather is finally here! This summer, I went cray and bought a bunch of sweaters in anticipation for Fall / in anger about summer weather. My favorite style of sweaters are definitely loose-fitting V-neck. (In fact, loose-fit v-neck was one of the first things I put on my personal style list.)
In case you’re interested in stocking up, here are some sweaters for fall that I like, all (except one) priced under $100…
As I mentioned, my favorite sweaters are oversized v-neck sweaters, like this basic one from BP, this one that has button detailing on the back, and this one with the lattice back. If you don’t love v-neck sweaters, I liked this turtleneck, this slouchy sweater that has a v-back, this basic sweater that has a crew-neck style neck, and this boatneck sweater. I’m also feeling the bell sleeve look. I bought a sweater similar to this one, and I also love this one.
(#SweaterWeatherForever pin available from Byron McCoy’s Etsy shop, here.)
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Have you heard of Lady Pista? Sumangala Narendrakumar (aka Lady Pista) is a recording artist and DJ whose music is a blend of dancehall, electro-house, and world music. A couple months ago, I reached out to Lady Pista to connect about the ISAASE Be Inspired project, which aims to inspire young South Asian Americans by sharing diverse profiles and stories of success (especially success that doesn’t fit stereotypes of South Asian achievement!). She shared some lessons she’s learned along her journey navigating the entertainment industry as a South Asian woman. Here are two of my favorite pieces of advice she shared…
“You have to remember that you are the biggest vehicle to your own success.”
On following your passion and carving out your own destiny:
“We are all told that the arts isn’t a career and we need to find a suitable role in society and fit the mold. What if your mission wasn’t to follow the pack? What if it was to break boundaries so our communities can evolve?”
I loved getting to know Lady Pista, and chatting about her experience of pursuing a career in the entertainment industry, challenges she’s faced along the way, and her advice for young people pursuing a similar path. If you’re interested, you can read the full interview here, and you can hear some of her music at her website.
P.S. – Her 5-track EP “Imma Pista” releases next month!
It’s my birthday weekend! Every year, the week before my birthday is designated as Hindi Movie Week in my house. But with a toddler, Hindi Movie Week has been way less successful than in years past. So far, I’ve made it through Neerja, and a re-watch of about fifteen minutes of Jab We Met (but didn’t catch this amazing song this time). Anyway, since I don’t typically post over the weekend — unless I have a parenting post scheduled for a Saturday morning (I schedule motherhood posts for the weekend since that’s when many of my own Mama friends get a chance to sit down with a cup of coffee and their phones!), and I don’t this weekend — I thought I’d share some links for your weekend now.
So, if you’re interested, here are five links for your weekend…
Mamas, if you nursed your babies, did you have a hard time with weaning? (And if yes, what was the hardest thing about weaning for you?)
Why weaning is hard
Of course, weaning can be hard on your child emotionally (and certainly physically if you’re weaning before they’re developmentally ready), but weaning can also be hard for moms. Many moms may have a hard time with bringing a nursing relationship to an end. This can be especially true if breastfeeding was overall a positive experience.
Weaning can be difficult because of its physical components (engorgement is not a joke). And the physiological stuff can be really hard; many moms even go through lows that are similar to depression. Part of the reasoning can be tied to the shift in hormones that accompanies weaning; as you wean, prolactin levels decrease, and you have fewer bursts of oxytocin.
What I found hard about weaning
I weaned my son around 18 months — we weaned very gradually, starting with night weaning — but once we were finally really done, I was surprised at how emotional I felt (and the first morning my son didn’t ask to nurse, omg, forget about it!). Even while I’m aware of how fortunate I have been, and thankful I’ve been able to enjoy nursing my child, and grateful that I was able to nurse him for 18 months, bringing this part of our relationship to an end was not without difficulty.
As I mentioned, we weaned very gradually; so in the beginning, when we first started night-weaning (around 16 months), I definitely struggled with feeling guilt about denying him a comfort that he had grown to accustomed to, even while I knew that for a variety of reasons, it was ultimately the right thing for our family at that time. My guilt was assuaged by the relative ease with which my son took to night-weaning. Something else I struggled with was the intellectual awareness that weaning meant the ending of a physical oneness with my son. Of course, this was balanced by my joy at my son’s growing independence, but I still found myself feeling a sense of loss. (I will say, though, that this feeling dissipated pretty quickly after he was fully weaned.)
What other Mamas find to be the hardest thing about weaning…
For many families, starting the process of weaning can throw a kink into an otherwise smooth family routine. And, weaning can be especially difficult if one member of the nursing dyad is ready, while the other isn’t. Still other moms have a response to weaning that ranges from celebration of their children’s increasing independence (and sometimes, their own independence!) to struggling with the end of the nursing relationship with their child. Moms weaning their babies may also struggle with wondering if they’re doing the right thing. (Plus, for so many moms, getting into the swing of breastfeeding can be such a complex challenge — this can make weaning even harder.) Here, some of my mama friends share what the hardest thing about weaning their child was for them…
Do you have a “signature fragrance” (and is that still something we’re doing?). A woman I know recently went to Le Labo in DC (the fancy fragrance company that makes the beautiful perfume bottles and candles you see all over Instagram/Pinterest/etc), and got a semi-custom fragrance made. I say “semi” because it’s a fragrance they already make, but it’s still custom because (a) they create the fragrance for you in-house, (b) they help you select the fragrance based on a questionnaire you fill out, and best of all, (c) the bottle has your name on it!
I asked her about the process to get it done, and she sent me this link, to Le Labo’s “Proust Questionnaire” (named for Marcel Proust’s madeleine moment, in which the taste of a madeleine triggers an involuntary memory). So you take the Proust Questionnaire from Le Labo, and then Le Labo perfume experts share with you which fragrance “might best fit your being.”
The questionnaire includes items like “if not yourself, who would you be?” (and other fun questions that seem unrelated to perfumes). Le Labo says the questions let them “try to get a better albeit imperfect understanding of people’s personality and hence help them in the complex process of choosing a scent.” Reading and then completing the questionnaire made me nostalgic for the early days of the internet (remember when your friends would forward you emails with a bunch of personal questions that you fill out and then forward on — and always to your hotmail.com/aol.com email address).
If you’re interested, here’s the full Proust Questionnaire from Le Labo…
Happy Weekend! Here are 5 amazing things and links from around the internet for your perusal. Enjoy your weekend!
How long does it take you to respond to texts? Since people may tend to assign meaning to the amount of time that passes between their messaging you and your responding, do you feel pressured to respond more quickly?
Anuja‘s soon to be sister-in-law, and my new friend, Dr. Roopa Mathur is a psychiatrist and an all-around cool woman who thinks taking our time to respond to texts is a good thing. In a conversation we were having (over text, incidentally), she said that there should be…
“No pressure to respond right away at all, ever. That’s too hard of an expectation to live by, and perpetuates having to always be connected to the phone.”
She went on to say that we should respond to texts “when it feels right.”
I love that. And though she meant when it feels right logistically, this could also the other kind of feeling right: when you have something meaningful to say. After all, do you always think about your responses carefully when you text — probably not. And have you ever rushed to respond to a question that perhaps deserved more thought — I know I’ve done this. (I also love the bit about the expectation of being connected to our phones all the time. Related: Do you check social media before sleeping?)
So — how long does it take you to respond to texts? And as a follow-up question, do you expect people to respond to your messages right away?
P.S. – Here’s why stay at home moms don’t pick up your phone calls, and here’s a 3-question quiz for determining how long you “should” wait to text someone back. Also, texting while walking. And while we’re talking about using our phones, here are some Instagram accounts for you to follow.
(Featured image found from this post on the “unspoken” rules of texting.)
A couple months ago, we installed track shelving in the living room in our home. Here, I’m sharing the inspiration, how I planned the project, and a brief how-to in case you’d like to do the same, if you’d like to see…